Many people come to therapy feeling overwhelmed, often in desperation. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, trauma, or other life challenges, it’s courageous to seek help when life feels like too much. It’s understandable to want immediate change—a quick fix that brings relief. But what does therapy really entail, and why does it often take longer than expected to feel the transformation we long for? Therapy Is Not Something Done to You One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that it’s something a therapist does to you. In this view, the client is powerless to change, a passive recipient of the therapist’s wisdom. While some therapeutic approaches involve specific interventions that can be helpful, deep, transformative therapy is something else entirely. Unlike medical treatments—where a doctor diagnoses and prescribes medications—therapy is a process of connection, exploration, and experience. It’s not about receiving a quick prescription or a set of coping strategies just to get by. Instead, therapy is about working together, looking beneath the surface, and gaining insight and emotional shifts rooted in the acknowledgment of experience, pain, and often mistreatment. This process leads to real, meaningful, lasting change. Coping Isn’t the Goal—Healing Is Many people who come into therapy say: “I just need some coping strategies to help me manage.” Coping mechanisms can be useful in the short term, but if you look closely, you’ll see that most people already have them. Humans naturally adapt to cope with difficult things. But coping is just that—coping. It helps us survive suffering, but it often keeps us stuck in it. Some therapists—myself included—would argue that the goal of therapy isn’t just to help clients cope, but to help them heal and transform. Healing isn’t just about managing pain; it’s about understanding its origins and gaining the tools to move through it. It’s the difference between surviving the issue and truly moving beyond it—stepping out of suffering and into something new. It’s not easy work, and it isn’t immediate. But real healing happens when we take the time to explore and address the root causes of our struggles, rather than applying temporary fixes. Think of it like renovating a house after a storm. If you only repair the surface—repainting walls or patching cracks—it might look fine for a while. But what if the foundation is still struggling? And maybe, in the process, you realise that the foundation was never given the care, attention, or understanding it needed. Perhaps it was built during a storm, shaped by circumstances beyond your control. Maybe no one ever told you that the foundation itself was something that could be built differently. So what if therapy is about seeing that for the first time—about learning what was never taught, about rebuilding with knowledge you were never given? How would it feel to offer yourself patience in that process? Transformation Takes Time When we’re desperate for change, it’s natural to expect quick results. But lasting transformation requires time, patience, and commitment. Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution; for some, the house has been hit by a storm, while for others, the house was built in a storm. Healing is a journey, and the pace of that journey will vary. Sometimes, the process feels frustrating, especially when change isn’t immediate. But just as a deep-rooted tree doesn’t grow overnight, deep healing requires time. As therapists, we are not here to “fix” you in a few sessions. Instead, our role is to walk with you through the healing process, holding space as you work through your challenges and uncover the tools you need to rebuild and thrive. Only You Have the Power to Make the Changes You Seek At the heart of therapy is a powerful truth: only you have the power to make the changes you seek. It’s easy to feel powerless in the face of struggle, but within each of us is the capacity to face even the darkest, most painful parts of our experiences. For some, feeling powerless is itself a symptom of the issue—after all, no one has the power to stop a storm. But we do have the power, the right, and the ability to rebuild. That doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Therapy isn’t about facing your pain on your own—it’s about having someone by your side, even in the darkest moments. It’s having someone who won’t shy away from holding hope for you, someone who can walk with you as you navigate the challenges of healing. Therapists will sit with you as you work through the painful and difficult parts of your journey. Sometimes, that means helping you reflect on what was affected by the storm, what was built during it, and perhaps even realising that what you thought was a bannister is actually a fallen tree—that the floor beneath you is covered in mud. We aren’t here to provide quick fixes. We’re here to offer reflection, empathy, exploration, and guidance along the way. Healing is not a solo effort—just as wounds are rarely self-inflicted. If harm often happens in unsafe connections, then healing can happen through safe connection. A storm may have raged, but the rebuilding does not have to happen alone. The Journey of Healing In summary, therapy isn’t just a place to receive advice or quick solutions—it’s a space to explore, grow, and transform. It’s about you and your healing journey, and only you have the power to rebuild and make these changes. As therapists, we have the privilege of walking alongside you, offering support, shining a light on things unseen in solitude and maintaining hope and empathy as you navigate this path. The sad truth is, therapy is not a quick fix, but the change it can bring is profound. Healing is deeply personal, and while the road may sometimes feel long, you do not have to face this alone. There is power in the process, there is power in you, and with patience and dedication, real healing is entirely possible.